Every single experience teaches us something.

But what we choose to do with those lessons is what sets us apart.

Integrating the wisdom we gain from every mistake, challenge, trauma and heartbreak is how people grow, heal and move forward. Otherwise, life can be a scary hamster wheel of repetitive behavior and continued pain and suffering.

Integration is change. 

But in order to positively change, we need to allow ourselves the space and time to allow all our gained knowledge to turn into our new thoughts and actions.

That’s where so many people get stuck. 

So here, we’re diving deep into the steps – and beautiful voids – of how to actually integrate life-changing wisdom.

In this episode, we’re talking about:

• What integration truly means and requires
• How to recognize when positive change has taken place within us
• Why you have far more wisdom than you even realize
• The biggest component of integration – which many of us avoid
• Why we shouldn’t only focus on the future, but take time for the past – no matter how traumatic
• How to create more joy in your daily life
• The incredible power of the “fertile void”
• The importance of becoming an observer
• Elevating from victimhood to empowerment
• Why we often don’t even notice when we’ve changed as people 
• How our responses are an indicator of our growth

You can learn all the things, but if you don’t actually integrate them, we don’t actually grow. 

I’d love to know if you’ve had success integrating gained wisdom into your life? How have you celebrated your new way of being?

REFERENCES:

Episode 310 | Lose The Labels That Keep You Small & Expand Into Real Freedom 

Episode 266 | Not All Men, But Almost Always With Traver Boehm Of Man Uncivilized

Episode 270 | Cultivating A Deep Sense Of Self Worth

Episode 117 | The 9 Year Affair: Lessons In Infidelity

Episode 259 | Following The Path Of Least Resistance

CONNECT WITH EMILY

Book a private coaching call with Emily to work together.

Your FREE 15-page foundational guide Where Do We Begin.

Jump on the waitlist for Becoming YOU, my 6 week women’s group coaching program re-launching Tuesday, July 12.

Men’s group coaching program coming in August 2022 – waitlist here.

Instagram: @emilygoughcoach

info@emilygoughcoaching.com  

Emily Gough Coaching

Room to Grow Podcast

Podcast Producer: Adam Liefl

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Episode Transcript:

I’m Emily Gough, a human connection coach speaker, and mental health advocate within insatiable sense of curiosity and adventure. Always asking more questions and using the power of stories to teach, learn, and grow. It’s about allowing for room to grow. And this podcast focuses on three main pillars, human connection, personal growth, and freedom. We cover topics like relationships and cultivating,

genuine, supportive connections with ourselves and others speaking your truth, shattering personal barriers, radical self-acceptance, and courageously leaning into your skillsets. Whether it’s a solo episode or bringing on highly curated guests with incredible stories, experiences, and expertise to share, we’re leaning in and taking the entire idea of growth to the next level all while still covering the uncomfortable topics that many of us like to avoid.

There’s always more room to grow. Let’s do this. Hey, Hey, welcome back to the room to grow podcast, Emily here. And before we dive into today’s episode, I just wanted to let you know that my women’s group coaching program becoming you is launching July 12th. This is a big deal because I was not planning on launching it again until the fall at the earliest.

And I just wrapped up a couple of different versions of it, one virtual and one in person, and the results have been so incredible that I had to launch it again sooner than expected. People have been requesting it. And I’m really, really excited to be able to offer this to you. So it’s six weeks long and the women that have moved through this have been having incredible conversations with their spouses for the first time in years in a lot of cases,

like really deep, meaningful conversations that have been really powerful. They’ve been showing more compassion to themselves in ways that they have never done before. You know, they’ll show everyone else all the compassion, but they have not been showing themselves the compassion. And that is changing in really powerful ways. They’re starting to trust themselves. They are not judging themselves so harshly and they’re,

they’re able to then carry that out to how they present in the world too. And actually being kinder, more empathetic humans with everyone around them. And it shows like the, the, the relational flourishing that is happening as a direct result of this and the increased happiness. It is so powerful. I actually can’t quite believe that the results in six weeks are this good.

And not only that they’re developing really amazing and beautiful connections with the other women in the group. It’s so powerful. You guys, I can’t stress this enough. So if you have an opportunity, go check out the information, go sign up. Even if you can’t make it for this round, sign up for the wait list information anyway, so that you get the information and for the next one and the early year,

the earlier you sign up for this, you will also get special pricing. You’ll get access to bonuses that are not going to be offered later on. So the earlier you sign up the better, if you have any questions, make sure to reach out to me. I’m over at Emily golf coach over on Instagram, or send me a email over at info at Emily golf,

coaching.com. All the information is over at room to grow podcast. And today we’re going to be talking about the integration of wisdom, essentially, because we talk about growth on this podcast all the time. It is the room to grow. You do, but their growth. Isn’t the only part of this. You can, you know, go through all the,

the, the hard lessons. You can learn all these things, whatever, but if we don’t actually integrate those things, and if we, or if we actually do integrate them, but we still see them as separate from us, it’s we, we don’t actually get to move forward and progress. And, and frankly give ourselves enough credit with the way that you should.

Right? And I don’t, I don’t like to use shreds very often, but this is, you know, we’re exception. And the reason why I bring this up is because you have so much more knowledge and wisdom than you think you do, and you’ve grown far more than you likely even realize. But this integration piece is really, really key. So I’m going to be sharing like a couple,

a couple examples of this, but first I want to talk about what, what does integration even mean or look like, like, what does it mean or look like, and how do we know that it’s integrated? So when you have, when you’ve integrated, what integration actually means when, when you are going through that process of maybe having moved through some tough lessons,

maybe, you know, harder period in your life, you’re kind of, when you have integrated some things you’re, you’re moving through the world differently. And this can show up in a number of different ways. One of, one of the things, and one of the key pieces to integration in general here is getting still, I feel like I’m getting to the point where I may be bringing this up on every episode,

I’m going to have people start going, okay, shut up already. We get it. But getting still and allowing space for, for some things to actually sink in. Because when we can, when we move through these experiences, we don’t actually realize that our brains are literally being rewired as we’re going through them. And we’ve all had the experience of having those,

those breakthrough moments where someone says something to us, or maybe we’re we’re writing or journaling, or maybe there’s an experience that happens to us. And we handle it totally differently than we would have in the past. And we’ve just, we’ve all had this sort of like download breakthrough, whatever, want to call it, those moments where we’re like, oh shit,

I get it. Or, you know, wow. I handled this so differently than I used to. And I think it’s because I’ve learned some of these lessons. Right. But a lot of times we won’t necessarily pick up on that unless we allow us space to notice it. And this is important because we can, you know, just kind of like briefly notice and go,

oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m doing this thing differently, whatever, move on. But those, those are not small details. Those need to be noticed. Those need to be celebrated. And you need to give yourself credit for having the courage to do the work that was required to get to the point where you are now. And if we’re always looking ahead to the next thing,

whether that’s in terms of growth or whether that’s in terms of business success or, or any type of goal that you have, if we’re always looking forward to the next thing without ever acknowledging or giving ourselves credit for the thing that we’ve already done, you’ll end up in a hamster wheel. And it will just be this non-stop future living without ever appreciating the present moment and what it has taken for you to get to where you are now.

So we have to allow this space to get still, to allow some silence, five, 10 minutes a day, notice what comes up. And yes, it might be uncomfortable, but it’s really key another part of, of integration, because it’s not just about the, you know, the doing the work and the, the journaling or whatever, you know,

like that’s growth comes in many forms and integration comes in many forms. It’s not just about that. We also want to be creating more joy intentionally. Don’t just wait for joy to arrive on your doorstep. Just like anything else in life. We’re going to have to cultivate some intentionality here to make that happen. Scheduled joy into your calendar, no matter how small relish,

the, the small moments savor your hot cup of coffee in the morning. You know, if it’s, if it’s nice where you are, like allow yourself a few minutes to go sit outside and enjoy the weather of, of the season that you’re in right now. Like, let yourself also take a step back from things. People situations it. Sometimes we’re going to,

to need that going inward in order that, that contraction to create the expansion that follows like that’s part of nature. There’s always balanced in nature. And if we’re go, go, go all the time. If we’re always surrounded by people for always doing the next thing, if we’re always looking ahead to the next goal, that integration, it’s going to be much harder for those,

those pieces to fully, fully fit together. As part of the puzzle, I talked about practicing presence in episode 3, 19 2, and, and that that’s, it’s a really crucial part of, of in appreciating the journey for one thing and allowing the flow of life. I’ll reference a couple of episodes that I’ve done around that. And the other thing that really came to mind to me when I was thinking about this integration of wisdom is the fertile void.

And I talked about that with one of my previous mentors. I’m a Tate. She’s amazing. She’s such a sweetheart back in episode 1 33 and Emma, she didn’t come up with this with this concept originally, I don’t actually know who came up with the concept originally, but she’s the one who taught this to me. And we talk about it more. In that episode,

she taught me this concept of the fertile void when I had just gone through a very dark period of my life. And then I, I changed locations. I, I got rid of literally everything in my life and almost everyone in my life burned my entire life to the ground and started over, picked up, moved to Bali with a single suitcase, one way ticket,

all the things. And when I got there, I expected, you know, like even though I had just gone through this deeply traumatic life event, I expected to give myself like three, four days to like, get into the swing of things and then, you know, carry on. Like, let’s go. And I couldn’t understand why my creativity was not coming back instantaneously now that I was in this magical new place.

And what, what was the holdup like? What was wrong? My impatience, you guys is just, it’s next level. It’s something I’m actively, constantly having to work on. And she explained to me this concept of the fertile void, where everything is sort of barren and it’s uncomfortable. And it seems like there’s nothing happening, but there’s actually these seeds that are being planted all along the way.

And eventually spring will come because it always does. Spring always comes. And when it does all of those seeds that you were planting, that you didn’t even realize in the moment you were planting are all going to start to bloom. And when she originally explained to me this concept of the fertile void, when I was in a deeply impatient place, like,

okay, onto the next. And I’m like, yeah, yeah, that, that’s, that’s cute story. I’m like, okay, whatever, what, what do I do to move out of it? And a couple of months later, I had one of those moments, those breakthrough moments of all the pieces clicking, and I’m like, oh, I get it.

I get it. And all of the that had been planted that whole time all started to bloom. And I’m like, this makes so much sense. And I just love this concept of the fertile void. I’ve come back to it time and time and time again. And, and I, I teach it to people regularly. I I’m pretty sure all my clients have heard me share that with them because all of us go through these periods of fertile voids.

And it doesn’t just happen once. There’ll be various times in our life where we go through for telephone. And that’s when the integration is happening, but it’s not something tangible. We, we can’t, we can’t see it. And therefore we tend to not believe that it’s that anything is going on. If we can’t see it, we don’t believe it.

And we have to change that a little bit because a lot of times the belief is going to come first and the integration is happening, whether you’re allowing it to or not. But I can tell you, it will happen a lot more easily and deeply. If you do actually give it the space to take root, less, doing more being, this is at the,

at the center of integration. So if you want to sum up all the things that I’ve just said about, about what integration means, and it looks like it’s less doing more being, just being, you are a human being, not a human doing. It’s not so much about your to-do list. It’s about how you are being and showing up for yourself and in the world.

And when you do that, and when you allow space for that discomfort, that’s when things will really start to click into place. So as we’re, we’re doing that, you know, maybe you’re doing these things. You’re like, okay, I’ve been getting still, I’ve been, you know, doing all the things and blah, blah, blah for television.

Okay, fine. But with nursing, if you’re anything like me, how do we know that it’s integrated, right? Where is that magical little place that, that like, you know, like a mystical island out in the middle of the ocean, where that’s our destination, how are we integrated yet? How do we know, are we on the island yet?

One of the things that I can recommend to you to kind of just notice and observe without judgment, okay. Because this is part of it too. This, this can be part of the impatience. I’m just laughing at myself right now because picturing fast versions of myself and trust me, I’m still a very impatient human, but I’ve come a long way.

And I’m just picturing past versions of myself and laughing because my, I actually moved through parts of my journey incredibly rapidly to the point where people would ask me, like, how are you healing this fast and not, not healing fast? Because to me, it, it felt like a lifetime and in some ways still does. But I recognize that, you know,

everyone moves on a different timeline too. That’s part of being human, but I’m just looking back at these past versions of myself, where I was like struggling so hard when actually it was happening pretty rapidly. I was just so impatient to get to the next version. And, and this is a problem because we, we need to appreciate the seasons that were in the moments that were in the liminal spaces.

I’ve talked about that too. And the way that we know that the lessons that we’ve learned and the wisdom that we have obtained have integrated is it’s like operating from a place of inner knowing. And I’ve talked about before the, the reference of their episodes in this too. There’s, there’s so many episodes that are coming to me. And I can’t remember all the numbers,

all the numbers right now. So I’ll reference them on the show notes, but there was another episode I did where I talked about the difference between intuition versus anxiety and intuition is calm. Intuition is calm. We might not fucking like what it’s telling us. I didn’t, I didn’t promise you that we might not like what it’s telling us, but it’s calm.

Whereas anxious is it’s anxious. It’s, it’s like this frantic sort of energy and the, the bouncing around and the different thoughts coming in all the time, whereas intuition is calm. And when we know that certain lessons have integrated, we can know because when we’re showing up in different situations with different people and whatever, we start operating from a place of just calm,

inner knowing we show up differently, we have better boundaries. We’re practicing the pause to I, I talked about that. I’ve talked about that in a couple of slides, but one of them was episode 1 0 2 with Toria lotto. She’s fantastic. And we talked about that moment where maybe you’re engaged in conflict with someone and you allow for a pause. And this has to be a conscious practice because we,

we instinctively want to say whatever we’re going to say immediately, right? And when we allow for I’m going to come back to an uncomfortable silence and we practice that pause, it actually gives us a moment to breathe. It gives the other person potentially a moment to breathe too. But sometimes this is going to be just us practicing the pause. But, you know,

I’m trying to give different examples here. When we practice the pause, it gives us a moment to recalibrate to, again, observe without judgment, how we instinctively want to react potentially, and how we’re going to choose to react. And sometimes there is a difference, not always, but there can definitely be a difference. And one of the ways that you can recognize that difference is when you start to realize how much you have integrated and when you maybe handle a situation a certain way,

and then you look back on that, you know, maybe later that night or, or a few days later, and you’re like, wow, if this had been six months ago, a year ago, five years ago, that would have gone down very differently because I would have showed up incredibly differently. So take the position of observer in your life a little bit,

and just notice, and again, not with judgment, just notice how you’re showing up. And I’m also not one to suggest comparison, but when it’s a, when it’s a me versus me situation, you know, you can compare it to maybe pass versions of yourself and ask yourself, how am I showing up differently today than I did then do, do you find that you’re actually that it it’s integrated to the point of being more instinctual to show up a different way than you did in a past version of yourself,

maybe you are responding in new ways when you get triggered new and different, maybe more mature ways you’re allowing yourself to truly feel too. And sometimes situations are arising where you can almost just take a little bit of a step back into that sort of more observer role and just say to yourself, oh, how interesting. Seriously, just how interesting. Okay.

I see this, I’m observing this how interesting. That can be an observation of yourself. That can be an observation of how you’re feeling about something, how you’re showing up with someone that can be an observation of certain situations that are sort of unfolding around you, because maybe you’re, you’ve reached such new Heights that you weren’t even dealing with necessarily the same types of conflicts or situations that you did at a different version of you.

How interesting, how interesting, right. It’s really cool. When we start to think about this this way, and to start to notice how far we’ve come. And one of the ways, one of the reasons why I started thinking about this whole idea of, of integration was around the idea of relationships because different relationships will serve us in different ways. And again,

whether it’s, you know, all, all of this often applies to a variety of different types of relationships. This could be everything from work to friendships, to, you know, whatever, but often romantic relationships are the ones that come top of mind here. And because they’re simply, they’re closest to us, right? Like we are the most vulnerable in our romantic relationships and what you learn in your relationships,

you get to take with you, you get to take that with you. Sometimes we can fall into the trap of if we’re with someone, if we were with someone who opened us up in like this really beautiful way. And, and we just almost fell in love with who we became in relationship with that person, because we do sometimes even more so than,

than how much we fall in love with the other person and the, the versions of ourselves that we got to meet that were drawn out by being with them or that hour, or that are currently being drawn out by being with them. If it’s in the present, those parts of you aren’t left behind with the other person or lost to the abyss. They’re the gift that that relationship gives to you to carry forward with you.

They’re not separate. And I’ve, I’ve talked to people before, and I have felt this this way in past versions of myself. And I’m going to talk a little bit more about personal story related to this in a minute, but we can end up in situations where, you know what, actually, this is where people get trapped into thinking like, oh,

they were the one that got away. If, if, if you and another person are no longer together, they’re not the one that got away. They, they weren’t even the one I don’t even personally believe in the one. Like, I don’t believe that there’s only one person on the entire planet who is the only person for us. I think that timing and circumstance plays an enormous role and that there can be all kinds of different people who are a beautiful fit for us,

especially depending on, you know, where we’re at in certain levels of her life and vice versa. I do the same for them, but sometimes I see people falling into this trap of, of being like, oh, they were the only person that I could be that version of myself with. And there’s almost a separation of self where, where we end up believing that,

that, that version of ourselves can only exist within that relationship, which is often sometimes a memory of the past. It’s not even in the present, but those parts of you, you get to take them with you. You get to integrate the different versions of yourself, the parts of yourself that you loved most that, that the other person perhaps felt safe enough to open up to,

to, to that part of you or that, that other person may be even coaxed out of you. Those pieces of you, they are all part of you. Our relationships are mirrors for what is already within us. And I want you to think of us in questions here. Like, who are you? Who are you? Who are you becoming?

What have you learned? What did you love about yourself with that other person? Or what do you love about yourself with that other person? What versions of yourself felt, or, or feel safe enough to be seen with that other person? What versions of yourself would love to be seen, but haven’t had the chance to come out to play yet. What was brought out is already part of you.

It doesn’t need to be left behind. Maybe you love how carefree and open you were with someone celebrate that, that part of you saw an opportunity to come out and be seen, which means it can do it. And that it doesn’t necessarily require that other person, that other person may have been the catalyst for you to meet that version of yourself. But they are not the reason that that part of you exists.

You are, you are the reason that part of you exists. We are always meeting new parts of ourselves. That’s part of this journey, the room to grow, right? And, and you don’t get to go backwards to the old version of you. Either forward is the only way that you can go from here and integration and embodiment of what you’ve learned is the best way to bring forth all the versions of you,

all the versions of you. They’re not separate pieces of you. And the reason why I think the integration is so important is that like, anyone can talk a big game. Anyone can talk a big game. Trust me, I’ve heard, I’ve heard it. All. People can go through all kinds of really intense experiences, but not actually do the work to move forward from them.

You know, I, I, I have seen it happen before where we’re one relationship or one particular set of circumstances. And, and I’m not, I’m not attempting to reduce the pain of, of whatever that person went through or started to minimize is the word I’m looking for. I’m not looking to minimize the pain of anyone, but every human suffers.

And it’s what we choose to do with that, that sets us apart. And integration is a big part of growth. And I want you to ask yourself, like, are you becoming the person you want to be? Are you showing up as that version of yourself? Because right now you are the most evolved version of yourself. You have ever been more than any other point in your entire life.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re behaving as the most evolved version of yourself, because in many ways that’s still ultimately a choice we each have to make. But within you, you have been given experiences and lessons every day of your life up until now. And that means that, right, right. The second you’ve had more lessons and experiences than any other time before ever in your entire life.

And you get to decide what to do with those lessons. The lesson that I needed to learn about how I had integrated my wisdom was that this was a realization that I had maybe about eight, eight ish months ago, something like that. And I have cellular I I’ve grown more in the last eight to 12 months than the previous five years combined. It’s just been astonishing.

And I already thought that there had been a lot of growth in that period. And damn if the last 12 months I’ve taught me some things. And there been times in the past few years, especially in, in my business, because I have, are, I teach on growth quite literally. And, and even as my business has like evolved and grown growth has always been sort of the personal development and growth has always been sort of the Keystone,

especially of this podcast. But at times in the past few years, I have felt the need to prove my suffering, to feel worthy of being trusted, to do this work and to feel worthy of success of joy of happiness. Had I suffered, these are the questions I would, I would almost subconsciously ask myself, like, have I suffered enough?

So-called whatever the fuck that even means to feel worthy of deserving the most beautiful parts of my life to feel worthy of sharing the wisdom I have developed at least partly as a direct result of that suffering. And instead, I began to understand that I was worthy, no matter my story. And they saw the absurdity in those of us who think that our life story isn’t dramatic or interesting enough while the rest of us cringe at how dramatic and denigrate distracting her life story can be and how it pulls attention away from the human.

We have become an everything we have to offer. And at the root of both of those dilemmas is this deep desire to feel truly seen for who we are, not only for what has happened either to, or for us, however you wish to look at it. I tend to think of it as, as for us, but there’s, there’s a difference.

There’s a big difference when it comes to actually sharing your story. And I don’t just mean on a public platform, by the way, you know, in my case that that’s one example, that’s been the most significant example for me that I’ve had to sort of reconcile in my head, but it can be about sharing your story with a stranger on the street.

It can be both sharing your story with your best friend. It doesn’t matter that this applies to all of us. And there’s a huge difference between sharing your story from a place of victim hood versus from a place of empowerment and, and teaching because we’re all teachers, we’re all teachers. And we all always learning from each other. I have another episode coming up in that,

but I digress. I have always been very clear on the difference and shared from the ladder, even when I have shared some of the most traumatic moments of my life, I have shared from, from a place of empowerment. And I’m very clear on that, but we can also never control how other people interpret our stories. Once we put it out into the universe with us to one person or a thousand or a hundred thousand,

we, it doesn’t matter. We can’t control how someone else perceives us, how someone else interprets the stories that we share or interprets the way we show up in the world. And this, there can be this like comparison and grass is always greener and you know, all these things. But one of the realizations that I actually had was that many, many of the authors and teachers that I have looked up to most and have learned so much from for years,

a lot of them hadn’t actually shared the specifics of their suffering with me. And I didn’t, I didn’t even know much of anything about their personal history yet. I could innately sense the wisdom in their words and their teachings, because it felt true in my body. It was, it was so applicable in my own life. Something, something that they were teaching and the way that they spoke about something spoke to me so deeply,

and I didn’t need any kind of justification from them to show me their suffering so that I could see their wisdom as worthy or real. Why then did I feel such, such a need to use my own story to try and justify my existence and my wisdom? Why couldn’t I just trust at this point in my journey that my wisdom had become a Nate that I had integrated it and that it had become part of the very fabric of my being.

I was actually looking for validation for my own sake. Not, not for anyone else’s and not like, not like from anyone else. It, it was like to justify to myself that I had suffered so-called enough again, that whatever that means to have something were saying that people would want to listen to. And I had to learn the hard way. And,

and I made things a lot harder on myself to, to get here than it needed to be like, you know, running from and just resist. I’ve talked about this before, like resisting the work that chose me for so long because this work chose me. I never sat down one day and decided I wanted to teach. I’d like to teach about human connections for a living that that conversation has never happened in my head.

It instead became something I could no longer fight against leaning into. And, and, you know, sometimes I would wildly oscillate between crippling self-doubt and unshakable confidence. And that’s something that those closest to me have, have witnessed as I’ve moved through that in the past. But I’ve usually hidden that from the outside world sometimes even subconsciously, like, not even like intentionally,

and I’ve often there have even been times where more recently where I’ve started to feel like one of the reasons this work chose me has been to keep me open and showing up in relationships when there were moments that, that my instincts were to simply close myself off because I am so, so intentional about showing up with integrity and walking my walk. Like, I will never tell you or anyone to do something that like,

I won’t, I won’t, or, or haven’t already done myself ever. That will happen. Integrity is my, my most important value. And I will not compromise on that. And because of that, this work keeps me honest in terms of Emily. You know, if you’re going to teach on encouraging people to open in relationships, you can’t go shutting down.

That’s not how this gets to work. So this it, you know, that I truly feel like this platform is such a, it’s such a gift to be able to share. And, and I actually learned so much by talking to listeners by, you know, working with my clients by, by simply speaking things out loud on this podcast. And a lot of that has come from integrating things.

I didn’t even realize I had already integrated. And I mean, truly like, this is, this is what I’ve worked with clients around as well, like doing the work and then integrating what we’ve learned. And the integration part can feel boring. Like it can feel like nothing is happening. And, and again, I can bring it back to the nature example,

like think of a seed growing roots. In fact, my favorite example to use with us is bamboo. So when you plant bamboo, it does not even break ground for five years. So literally you plant bamboo in the dirt, and you’re just going to be looking at dirt for five years. And then in year five, it grows 90 feet in six weeks,

it grows so fucking fast. You can practically watch it growing with your, your naked eye in real time, literally year five, it all of a sudden shoots 90 feet into the air within six weeks. That’s what integration is like, where all of these things are happening internally, and it doesn’t feel like anything’s happening. And we can sometimes convince ourselves that we haven’t grown.

That are, you know, we, aren’t actually very wise that we don’t really know much of anything. We can get wrapped in these stories and they can entangle us and keep us small when we’ve actually outgrown those versions of ourselves long ago. In episode three 10, I shared a vision that I, I had when I was doing some trauma work about breaking free of the story.

So go check out that episode because a lot of people have messaged me about that, but it’s time for something new. It’s time to welcome into existence, who we are, not just what we have endured. And you won’t always understand the journey before you begin. In fact, you rarely ever will. Almost never. And even if you do think you understand the journey,

the universe usually has other things in store for you. Sometimes you simply have to say yes before it makes any sense, because there’s a full body, fuck yes. Happening within you telling you that there’s more available to you, that there’s more to this life that you have just barely scratched the surface on you are an evolution in progress. You have room to grow and give yourself the gift of the space to evolve and develop and to grow and allow the journey rather than fighting it.

So impatiently, like I have many times and, and that I’m sure I will continue to try and repeat those patterns by the way. So I don’t want anyone to be fooled thinking, thinking that I’m over here, like, oh yeah, I’m never going to be a patient again. No, no, no, no. That’s pretty sure there’s going to be a lifelong practice.

But when we allow it to unfold, rather than fighting it, it can create something so much more beautiful than you’ve ever imagined for yourself. And with this integration piece, I also really want you to, to really think about how far you’ve come to notice and observe how far you’ve come and to celebrate it, because it didn’t happen by itself, even when nothing seems like it’s happening,

even when it seems like you haven’t grown, even when it seems like you’re the same, the journey’s the same. Everything’s the same. There are things happening internally, just like the bamboo that you can’t even see yet that are, are going to make themselves known when you least expect it sometimes too, when certain situations come up, when you know, certain conversations happen when you’re put in particular situations and you’re like,

oh wow, I handled that a lot differently than I would’ve. And look, look at the different result as, because of all of this integration that I’ve done from all that, that growth. It’s so interesting. So let me know how this goes. I’d love to hear what you think about this idea of integration. Like what have you integrated? Are there lessons that you,

you can notice you have integrated? How are you different? How have you changed? Are you allowing yourself the space to integrate and how are you celebrating? So tell me all the things, jump over to room to grow podcasts.com for all the show notes, there are a ton of episodes and going to reference in this one. And I just, I did not have all the episode numbers in my head,

so you can jump over there or check it out in the show notes of whatever, Apia listening to this on and reach out to me over at Emily golf coach on Instagram. I’d love to hear how this goes. Send me an email if you prefer. If you’re not into social, totally get it, whatever you like. I am here for it.

And thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast today. It means the absolute world to me. And I’m so grateful for any references in the episode and all show notes. Be sure to jump over to room, to grow podcast.com. And if this episode touched your heart, it would mean so much. If you would take a quick second to hit subscribe,

write a review and share on social media, over someone who really needs to hear today’s message. It makes such a difference to keep this podcast going so I can continue to bring you amazing content and absolutely incredible guests. Be sure to tag me over on Instagram at Emily golf coach, that I can thank you in real-time for listening and connect with you. We’re back every Tuesday and Thursday with new episodes,

and I’m looking forward to growing with you.