How to Deal with the Gossip and the Fear of Judgement

September 4, 2019

Opening up the door to discuss the infidelity in my relationship was a risk that I was willing to take, but I knew it would simultaneously open me up to a whole new world of judgement, criticism and gossip that I had previously been insulated from.

Let’s just call a spade a spade: it’s a “juicy” story. #The9YearAffair

There are people who are only going to read my posts and listen to my podcasts about this topic for the sake of gossiping. I can’t control that, and I chose to go ahead with it anyway, because this was too important NOT to open up about for the people who really need to hear this and to help those in need feel less alone, to help someone realize that they are worthy of love and that having a partner who is/was unfaithful doesn’t make you less-than as a human being or broken, damaged goods somehow.

I will continue to be gossiped about. Talked about behind my back. People that don’t know me will be fed stories and lies born out of deception that are wildly inaccurate.

And I’m ok with that, because…

No one can say anything to me that’s worse than what I’ve already said to and about myself. 

When you unpack the various angles of that sentiment, you’re left with something that’s actually quite freeing.

Most of us fear judgement, the opinions of others. If we remove that element because we recognize that no one can say anything worse to us than what we’ve already said about ourselves, what’s left?

The fear dissipates. The clouds part, just a little bit. And you’re left with the ability to freely speak your truth.

We’re our own worst enemies. We’re harder on ourselves than anyone else, we say things to ourselves that we would never repeat to a loved one, much less another human being.

But sometimes, you need to get out of your own way and look at the bigger purpose and meaning behind why has happened in your life, and the fear of gossip and judgement suddenly becomes irrelevant. Don’t let fear get in your way. Push through it and you’ll be blown away at who you have become on the other side.

For the full story, check out episode 117 of the Room to Grow Podcast, The 9 Year Affair: Lessons in Infidelity.


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