Gossiping: Evolution, Connection & the Harm it Can Create

Examining gossip and the way we show up with a critical eye, and determining how you want to show up in the world.

Gossiping is motivated by a desire to be closer to the person you’re talking to. When you notice you’re talking together about someone who isn’t there, pause and check in with yourself. What might you be avoiding talking about?

-Dr. Alexandra H. Soloman

We’ve all gossiped, let’s be honest. In fact, for the average person, gossip makes up 80% of our conversations as human beings.

And while most of us think of gossip as negative, there are actually evolutionary roots to gossip that have had positive benefits to us as human beings.

But overall, there’s a lot of gossip that can be harmful, both to the person being discussed and the one doing the gossiping.

Because that’s the thing about gossiping: when I hear someone talking about somebody else in a really shitty way, my first thought is: what are they saying about me when my back is turned then?

In this episode we’ll get into:

  • How gossip can be used as a form of bonding, and why that can be incredibly negative
  • What gossiping can tell you about a person
  • Turning around a connection with someone who only wants to gossip
  • Why intention matters when it comes to gossip and how to spot the differences
  • Asking yourself how you want to show up in the world and the kind of human you want to become


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Episode #88, Save the Drama for Your Mama: Being Drama-Focused is Keeping You From Happiness with Christina Montalvo

Time Magazine: Why Do People Gossip?

Questions?  Comments? Want to connect and chat about this episode? You can email me at info@emilygoughcoaching.com, or DM me over on Instagram @emilygoughcoach or Facebook at Emily Gough Coaching.  I would absolutely love to connect with you and thank you for listening in real life and here any takeaways you had from this or other episodes!.  It makes me day to see you listening to the podcast and fills me up with pure joy. Seriously.  See you on the ‘gram!

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