You Have to Ask for What You Want In Life

November 14, 2018

Have you ever sent a meal back at a restaurant?  Asked for a flight upgrade?  Switched hotel rooms because you wanted something specific?
Something about those kinds of situations can feel, well, stressful.  High maintenance, almost.  At least, to me.  Despite being fairly assertive, I’ve always shied away from those types of situations.
Last week I was in Naples, Florida for a business mastermind retreat with my coach and a handful of other entrepreneurs, and we were staying at a beautiful hotel right on the beach.
I checked in, got my key, and found my room.  It was gorgeous, except for two things:  it was on the ground floor, and it didn’t have a balcony or even any windows that opened.
I’m up here in Canada and it’s getting awfully chilly very quickly, so this getaway to some warm weather was an extra special treat.  I’d checked out pictures of the rooms online beforehand, and all of them showed balconies, and I really had my heart set on it so that I could sleep with my balcony door open and hear the ocean.  I try to be in or as close to the outdoors as often as possible because it has such an immense calming and grounding effect on me, plus I sleep with my window open in virtually any climate.
So I did something I’ve never done before: called the front desk and asked to switch rooms.
*cue increased heart rate and stress levels* ?
The front desk answered and I was told it was no problem at all to switch to a room with a balcony.  Totally relieved and my heart rate decreasing back to normal rates, I went to check out my new room.
This one was on the second floor, but there was no screen or sliding door, which again meant I wasn’t going to be able to sleep with my door open at night.  Plus, it was facing the parking lot so I wouldn’t have been able to hear the ocean anyway.
At first I told myself that it was fine. The hotel had already been kind enough to switch rooms once, why bother them again?  I didn’t want to make any trouble or inconvenience anyone.  What if they think I’m super high maintenance?
Then I had a realization: if we never ask for what we want in life, how can we expect to get it?  
Taking a deep breath, I went back to the main desk.  Assuring them nothing was wrong with the room, I finally explained my situation fully to the desk attendant.  That I had seen photos online of all the rooms having sliding glass doors with screens.  That I wanted to be able to sleep with my door open.  I even told him that it was getting cold at home which was why I was extra appreciative of the warm weather and wanted to enjoy it to its’ fullest.
Any you know what?  He didn’t bat an eyelash at my request.  In fact, he even agreed with me and told me that the first two rooms had been anomalies compared to the hotel’s usual rooms and he had the perfect room for me.
I went and checked into my new room, and it was even better than I had imagined it.  And I happily slept with the sliding door open with my ocean view on the fourth floor, listening to the waves crash as I fell asleep.
What I want you to take away from this story is this:
You have to be very clear on what you want if you’re ever going to get it.  
When I work with clients, we work together from the very beginning to establish a vision of what they have in mind for themselves when it comes to their health and wellness.  Not simply how they want to look or a number on the scale, but more about how they want to FEEL.  How that version of themselves looks, eats, sleeps, plays, lives, and functions.
Too many of us stay stuck in fear, wondering what others might think of us or even what we might think of ourselves if we reach beyond what we’re given.
You might even ask yourself in those situations: why me?  Why would I ever be able to have that?
I have a better question for you.  Why NOT you?  
Most things in life that we want most aren’t necessarily going to be handed to us.  Especially if we don’t even know what it is that we want.
First we have to get super clear on what we want.  Then we have to ask for it and put it out into the universe so that we can actually get it.
This takes some practice, but if you’re unsure, start small.  Did Starbucks mix up your coffee order and you usually just choke it down anyway?  Let them know and then you can get the right one.
Do you have some vague idea of what it would be like to be healthy that involves something along the lines of “eat better and workout more?”   That’s a great start, but you’re going to need to get a little more clear on that.  When you do, the steps you need to take to actually make it happen will become so much simpler.
Need a little help figuring out what this future vision of yourself looks like?  I can help you get super clear on not only what you want, but HOW you’re going to get there, which is trickier.
Want me to help you out personally?  Let’s talk.  Totally FREE 30 minute call with me, and I opened up some extra time slots this week and next for 5 new spots.  No gimmicks, just getting to know you helping you end the year with a bang.  
xo, Emily
P. S. The Room to Grow Podcast was on fire last week!
If you want to hear more about my mastermind retreat and the major lessons and takeaways, (whether or not you’re an entrepreneur, these are LIFE lessons!) click here to listen to episode 42.  I recorded it in my hotel room (with the ocean view, ha!) halfway through the retreat after an emotional couple of days, and it’s one of the most raw, real and personal episodes I’ve done to date.

I also chatted with my girl Christina Montalvo all about The Art of Maintaining Friendships, and the feedback from this episode has been unreal.  We seem to have hit a hot button issue!  Available to listen here.
You can also search “Room to Grow” on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Stitcher and anywhere else you listen.

Plus new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday! 


This is where it all starts. Your FREE foundational guide to understanding yourself in whole new ways that will re-frame and completely shift how you approach relationships.



Step into your strength. Reclaim your power. Allow yourself to be truly seen.

© 2023 emily gough | all rights reserved | Brand + website by madison kabrich

Create the kind of relationships that make your entire nervous system breathe a sigh of relief as you think to yourself, “this is what it’s supposed to feel like.”