Captain Save-A-Hoe & Queen Change-A-Dick: Lifelong Patterns That Harm Our Relationships
December 8, 2023
It’s tempting to want to play the role of “superhero” in a relationship – the guardian, the savior, the teacher, or the protector. But over-prioritizing their needs over your own often has a villainous effect on a healthy relationship. Because if all of your focus is on their safety, wellbeing and nurturing, you then neglect what’s more important – your own.
My partner, Kelly Gardner, a Relationship Coach and Men’s Group Facilitator, and I have identified two (comically labeled) archetypes of the kinds of superheroes we often see in relationships:
Captain Save-A-Hoe: the man here to “save” and “heal” a broken partner.
Queen Change-A-Dick: the woman on a mission to help the lost boy grow into a great man.
Today we’ll explain why you need to stop prioritizing your partner’s needs over your own, and how the foundation of a healthy relationship is really built on focusing on yourself, first.
In this episode, Kelly and I are talking about:
- Why men often want to feel like a “savior” in a relationship
- Power dynamics in relationships
- Why women often put aside their own needs in a relationship
- How to balance giving and receiving in a relationship
- Expanding your sense of self in a relationship
- Waiting to be chosen by someone
- How prioritizing yourself first contributes to a better relationship
- Managing sexual energy inside and outside your relationship
- Including your partner in your life
- How to make your partner feel chosen
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Website: https://www.kellygardner.com
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CONNECT WITH EMILY
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Get Your Free Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here
Instagram: @emilygoughcoach
Email: info@emilygoughcoaching.com
REFERENCES
Episode 377 | Hope After Heartbreak: Our Love Story With Kelly Gardner
Episode 359 | Building A Community Of Better & More Present Fathers With Kelly Gardner
Episode 364 | Not All Men, But Almost Always With Traver Boehm Of Man UNcivilized
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