The Real Reason All-or-Nothing Mindset Around Food Feels So Hard

August 1, 2018

We talk a lot about all-or-nothing mindset, and what it really comes down to the most is trust.

We don’t trust ourselves to make the right choice when it comes to food, and the cycle perpetuates because every time we make ourselves another promise (starting a new diet on Monday yet again, never eating sugar again, going on that crash diet to drop a few pounds before vacation, etc) and we aren’t able to live up to that promise, it reinforces that we can’t trust ourselves.

This is why building a lifestyle is so important, because that’s where things become sustainable habits.

Some ways to start:

1. Drink more water and get more sleep.

What does this have to do with self trust? If you’re exhausted and dehydrated, the first thing you will do is reach for all the sugary, fried, processed foods. Seriously. And then you beat yourself up wondering why you can’t stick to what you’re trying to do.

You don’t have to change everything at once, but start going to bed a little bit earlier. Have an extra glass of water (between meals, not with food). You WILL notice a difference, and that will help to build up your confidence in yourself that you’re not failing.

2. Giving yourself permission to eat foods you consider off limits.

I’m not suggesting you eat brownies for breakfast, lunch and dinner, far from it. Rather just ALLOW yourself to have what you’re craving. Appreciate it, savour it, enjoy it, and then move on. Stressing over it even more will make the situation worse, and by being super restrictive, you’re making yourself think about the pink elephant in the room!

By removing the self-imposed stigma, you’re allowing yourself the space to build trust in yourself, and the choices you make when it comes to food.

3. Change your story.

I used to think I was the girl who could NEVER be trusted around chocolate. Literally, that I would just wolf down any I could find like some kind of bloodhound. That wasn’t totally out of the realm either, given how I used to behave around certain foods, ha!

But this is where the problem lies.

By constantly telling myself that I couldn’t be trusted around particular foods, I was reinforcing my own beliefs, because then, I would proceed to wolf down far more than I had intended and spend days wallowing in my own guilt.

Practice changing your story. Instead of, “I can’t be trusted around chocolate” or “Every time chocolate is around I overeat,” what about “I eat chocolate sometimes” or “I enjoy chocolate.” These are just simple, factual statements without all of the emotion and judgement wrapped around them.

All of these will gradually start to build your self trust over time and give you wins under your belt so that you don’t feel helpless to your own cravings.


Imagine feeling totally comfortable around food.  ALL food.  Not stressing over what to eat, how to manage social gatherings, or even fearing having chocolate enter your home because you would immediately devour it.  I have a free 5-day training on how to beat cravings, and the best part is that it’s audio form delivered by email so that you can learn anywhere, anytime!  

Let me know where you send the training so that you can finally figure out how some people magically seem to have all this willpower you feel like you’re lacking.  (Hint: it’s not willpower). Click here for the details! 


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Create the kind of relationships that make your entire nervous system breathe a sigh of relief as you think to yourself, “this is what it’s supposed to feel like.”