I have an enormous appreciation for social media.  It allows me to work from home building a business, connecting with incredible women all over the world, and doing cool stuff like this podcast.

But we all know there can be dark sides to social media, and today I’m opening up more than I ever have about this and getting real with you about why I don’t share my partner online, conversations we’ve had about the intimacy of some snapshots in time, and who we’re ALL really posting photos for every time we click a button.

STAYING PRESENT

There’s a phrase that seemed to start as a joke, but I’ve been hearing it used more often:

“If it didn’t go on social media did it even happen?”

I have two words for this: Fuck. That. 

More and more we’re living in a culture where catching the right camera angle and posting to our IG stories or Facebook page are of higher priority than the actual moment in time itself.  This is a very dangerous game to play.

It keeps us from living and enjoying our lives and appreciating everything that we have.

I want to challenge you to think about WHY you’re posting particular things online.  This means getting really honest with ourselves about who is in the back of our minds that we’re trying to impress or appear in a certain way every time we choose a photo, video or comment to put on social media.

COMPARISON TRAP

We’ve all gone down the road of comparison on social media.  Hello, going on IG for 2 minutes and coming up for air 2 hours later!

I’m sharing an experiment I tried a few days ago when I posted a photo I had taken weeks prior, and it got more “likes” than most recent photos I had posted, and people actually messaged me to tell me how good they thought I looked in the photo, which was unusual.

The real reason that’s so interesting? In the photo, I was running on two hours of sleep, had a total breakdown that day, was filled with anxiety and had been crying so much that one eye in particular was so red and swollen I’m pretty sure people thought I had pinkeye.  

In the photo, (which I did not filter), my hair happened to fall a certain way and it was sunset behind me so there was decent lighting and the photo turned out surprisingly well.  

Don’t be fooled about what social media shows you, because there’s a story behind every photo.

MOMENTS OF INTIMACY

One definition that I found for intimacy describes it as close familiarity or friendship, closeness, or a private, cozy atmosphere.

We’ll all have a different definition of intimacy, and what we choose to share of our intimate moments online will vary, particularly as these platforms change over time.

I’m taking you inside a totally different way of thinking about how we’re posting on social media, where to draw the line between public and private, and one of many conversations my partner and I have had about social media and why he isn’t comfortable with it.

This episode leaves lots of room to grow, because the relationship we have with social media is ever-evolving and will continue to be something to adjust as things change.  

If you loved this episode as much as I did, can you do me ONE favour?  If you can take a quick second to leave a review on iTunes, it would mean the world to me!  I read every single one, and they keep me going when I’m podcasting alone and talking to a wall, ha!  You can even take a screenshot and tag me on Instagram so that I can connect with you and get to know YOU a little better! @emilygoughcoach

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