Less About Red Flags in Relationships, More About Compassion & Self-Forgiveness for Wanting to Be Loved

October 4, 2022

I see two major issues with fixating on red flags in relationships: they’re often unfairly judgemental, and can get in the way of the compassion and forgiveness needed to grow and move on – be it in your current relationship or your next one. 

So here, I want to reframe how we look at – or look back at – these relationship warning signs. Because remaining sensitive and open to love in a world that may have deeply hurt you is something worth celebrating.

When we shift our focus from the red flag itself to the patterns and awareness level we each bring to a relationship, we can have a much easier and healthier time forgiving and continuing our innate yearning for love. 

In this episode, we’re talking about:

  • Paying attention to patterns in our relationships vs. red flags
  • How to not give up your power and sense of self when seeking help from others
  • Why we struggle to forgive ourselves for missing red flags
  • The difference between unconscious incompetence and conscious incompetence
  • Why compassion is such a huge factor in forgiveness
  • Why to stop focusing quite so much on red flags (but do NOT ignore them!)

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Podcast Producer: Adam Liefl

REFERENCES

Episode 126 | Forgiveness Isn’t Found, It’s Earned: Doing The Inner Work

Episode 254 | Forgive Yourself For Shrinking Into Spaces That Do Not Fit You

Episode 260 | How To Let Go And Recover From Loss

Episode 117 | The 9 Year Affair: Lessons In Infidelity

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Create the kind of relationships that make your entire nervous system breathe a sigh of relief as you think to yourself, “this is what it’s supposed to feel like.”

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