Are You Waiting Around to Be Chosen? (Standards, Boundaries & Expectations)

June 24, 2021

Are you waiting to be chosen?

There’s a difference between simply hoping to be chosen and being an active participant in doing the choosing.

Many times, a lot of us will just sit around waiting for somebody to choose us, and we then almost remove ourselves as being one of the conscious parties in that decision.

We want someone to choose us so that we don’t have to be vulnerable enough to put ourselves out there and risk rejection.

So instead, we wait for someone to decide to take an interest in us, because it’s the safer choice.

Today we’re talking about all of this, including:

  • How to figure out the way you want to FEEL with your partner, rather than choosing based off of a laundry list of “must-haves”
  • The difference between standards, boundaries & expectations – and why it’s so important to note for the quality of your relationships
  • Knowing what you’re worth so you can get confident & clear on what you want to choose is what changes everything
  • Some personal stories / experiences

Because let me ask you this:

If you saw a job posting you really wanted, or a speaking opportunity come up, would you close your eyes and try to wish it into existence?

Or would you actively apply for it, show that you were interested in it, allow your unique skills and talents to shine through so that it would be seen what a good fit you could be?

And yet, we treat relationships so differently because they’re so much more vulnerable and the idea of getting hurt is terrifying. Which is a completely valid fear – but we’re going to talk about how to open instead of shutting ourselves off.

Ready? Let’s do it.

Find Emily Online:


Emily Gough Coaching

Room to Grow Podcast


Episode #138, The Weight of Expectations & Attaching to Outcomes

Episode #120, Listening to Your Intuition & Gut Instinct: Stop Ignoring Your Body

Episode #269, The Right People Feel Different to Your Nervous System

Episode #268, Trust is a Choice: Creating a Confident Relationship with the Unknown

Episode #267, You’re Not Needy, You’re a Human with Needs

Questions?  Comments? Want to connect and chat about this episode? You can email me at, or DM me over on Instagram @emilygoughcoach or Facebook at Emily Gough Coaching.  I would absolutely love to connect with you and thank you for listening in real life and here any takeaways you had from this or other episodes!.  It makes me day to see you listening to the podcast and fills me up with pure joy. Seriously.  See you on the ‘gram!

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Create the kind of relationships that make your entire nervous system breathe a sigh of relief as you think to yourself, “this is what it’s supposed to feel like.”