“When we’re faking anything, it’s an attempt to exercise control. Over the other person, over the imagined outcome, or over ourselves when we’re ignoring our true feelings or experience in a relationship.”
Control blocks connection and sometimes we may not even realize that we’re doing it.
This can show up in a variety of different ways, including things like:
-Trying to mold ourselves into someone or something we’re not in order to maintain the relationship
-Faking orgasms and/or making things all about the other person’s pleasure and experience
-Saying it doesn’t matter where you eat for dinner and then being disappointed when the other person picks a place you don’t like, but you still stay silent
-“Going with the flow” rather than stating your needs
And a WIDE variety of other ways.
Sometimes we try to control things in an effort to grow closer to someone, but ironically, the control piece actually destroys connection and has the complete opposite effect that we want it to.
Even if it’s not explicit, we can FEEL in our bodies when someone is exerting control over us in a way that we have not consented to. There’s an energy to it that’s undeniable once we start paying attention.
We’re unpacking all of this on today’s episode.
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